🥛 HOMEMADE PURPLE SCHMEG 🥛

INGREDIENTS:

• 1 gallon whole milk (from a cow that has seen things)
• 2 cups ube powder (for that purple energy)
• 1/4 cup condensed chaos
• 3 drops of liquid unhinged
• Pinch of dragon fruit
• Secret ingredient: Love (but make it menacing)

INSTRUCTIONS:

1. Milk the schmegamoo at midnight under purple moonlight
2. Heat milk until it whispers secrets
3. Whisk in ube until it hits different
4. Add condensed chaos slowly
5. Let cool until it looks at you funny
6. Serve in a suspiciously thick glass

🍚 SCHMEG FRIED RICE 🍚

INGREDIENTS:

• 4 cups day-old rice (overnight = locked in)
• 1/2 cup Purple Schmeg
• 3 eggs, scrambled like your brain
• 1 cup diced Bulkachuu-approved protein
• Green onions (keep it aesthetic)
• Soy sauce (low sodium, we watching our health)
• Sesame oil (drizzle like you mean it)

🐄 SCHMEGAMOO STEAK 🐄

INGREDIENTS:

• 2 ribeye steaks (thick cut, like the schmeg)
• 1/4 cup Purple Schmeg marinade
• 4 cloves garlic (minced fine)
• 2 tbsp ginger (grated)
• 1/4 cup soy sauce
• 2 tbsp brown sugar
• 1 tsp crushed red pepper (for the heat)